I know it's not fair

How can I tell you
I'm scared to leap
When I was always the one to dive headfirst
without a second thought?

How can I say
I'm not ready to fall
And see your irises flicker with sadness
And not feel guilty
For hurting you with the pain I hold inside
From all the others who came before you?

How desperately I wish
I could find the breath to jump again
To feel the rush as I submerge
And emerge
Next to you
Together in the wide, deep ocean
Two souls afloat
​Forever.

Maybe another day.